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The Premier League is back, what a day!
“…and joining me on commentary duty is Martin Keown”
Gambling an addictive drug



Roy Keane’s half time analysis tonight should be studied in universities around the world.
“I’ve watched a lot of football over the years, but that goal- to give away that goal”
*He pauses while his face contorts with pure anger and disgust*
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Could this be @Nigel_Farage’s next post? Find out why @realDonaldTrump has caused us to slash his odds here:

BREAKING: The Queen has reversed her decision to give Harry Kane an MBE. “He’s a right weirdo and he’s the captain of a big bunch of bottling fannies” said Her Majesty. “I’m giving the MBE to Jake Humphrey instead.” #thequeen #mbe #honours #harrykane #spurs #paddypower #wolves



“Don’t like it at all. The Oompa Loompas, singing and dancing. They’re supposed to be working in that factory. Maybe if they were focused on doing their job that poor boy wouldn’t have fallen in the chocolate river.”

