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paddypowerofficial Verified ‘F*cking choc ices? I said I wanted a Magnum. How come Luke Shaw got the latest PlayStation but I have to wait ‘till Christmas. This place is a joke.’
paddypowerofficial Verified On this day in 1673, a drunk St. Patrick marched up to a gang of snakes hanging around outside a Spar in Cavan, shouted “not on my f*cking watch!” and proceeded to beat seven shades of sh*te out of the elongated, limbless, carnivorous reptiles.
“The glorified f*cking worms didn’t stand a chance!,” he roared after the attack, before using one snake like a didgeridoo, and shouting “I am Patrick, king of the serpents!” through its lifeless body.
The patron saint of Ireland then spent the rest of the night drinking flagons of mead, and trying to fling the snakes over a telephone wire.