
Paddy Power Verified account @paddypower
Haven’t seen Messi and Neymar look that confused since they were presented with a Tax return form.

Ronaldo has signed a new 5 year deal at Real Madrid. He celebrated by stripping down to his pants and letting some flowers touch his hair.

West Ham’s owners will send a package to David Moyes tonight. Inside will be a beautiful, gold dildo with the words ‘Save Us’ written on it.


Paddy PowerVerified account @paddypower 8 hours ago
In other news, David Moyes has been made an honorary fellow at the University of Central Lancashire. That’s not a cap on his head. That’s a miniature replica of the Community Shield he won so gloriously back in 2013.


Tiger Woods had 5 drugs in his system when he was arrested. We all know what they were. Bifters. He had 5 bifters in a row. Mad bastard.
