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Newspaper reports say Wayne Rooney ‘was so drunk he couldn’t string a sentence together’. Might not have been drunk

West Ham’s owners will send a package to David Moyes tonight. Inside will be a beautiful, gold dildo with the words ‘Save Us’ written on it.

Paddy PowerVerified account @paddypower 8 hours ago
In other news, David Moyes has been made an honorary fellow at the University of Central Lancashire. That’s not a cap on his head. That’s a miniature replica of the Community Shield he won so gloriously back in 2013.


Paddy PowerVerified account @paddypower 8 minutes ago
Despite failing miserably at three of his five jobs before West Ham, Moyesy still thinks he can cut it at the elite level. Spoiler: he can’t. And never could.


Could this be @Nigel_Farage’s next post? Find out why @realDonaldTrump has caused us to slash his odds here:


Could this be @Nigel_Farage’s next post? Find out why @realDonaldTrump has caused us to slash his odds here:


Could this be @Nigel_Farage’s next post? Find out why @realDonaldTrump has caused us to slash his odds here: