Paddy Power, Moyes gold dildo ad

 

West Ham’s owners will send a package to David Moyes tonight. Inside will be a beautiful, gold dildo with the words โ€˜Save Usโ€™ written on it.

Betfair exploit Mourinho. Betfair/ Paddy Power same Flutter Entertainment gambling group

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It’s not long until kick-off in today’s first #PremierLeague game as in-form Watford host stuttering Tottenham. Will Jose Mourinho be happy at the final whistle or will Alan Dudman be the one smiling?

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Who will be the next #PremierLeague manager to lose their job?

assess the three leading contenders: Silva, Emery and Pellegrini…

Neil Lennon celebrates Celtic title win alone in the forest with a bag of cans @paddypower

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Neil Lennon celebrates Celtic title win alone in the forest with a bag of cans

Well, why wouldn’t you?

Celtic boss Neil Lennon celebrated the clubโ€™s 9th successive SPL title win alone with the trophy and a big bag of cans in the forest, according to reports.

Lennonโ€™s side, a paltry 13 points clear of second-place Rangers, were controversially handed the title after SPL clubs settled on ending the season early.

Realising that a title presentation wasnโ€™t possible, the former Hoops midfielder took a taxi to SPL headquarters โ€“ via an off-licence โ€“ to collect his teamโ€™s prize.

While balancing the trophy and a hefty bag of cans on his lap, Lennon directed the cab driver to a nearby woodland area.

The 48-year-old Lurgan man spent the evening posing for selfies with the Scottish Premiership trophy while sinking tins of a well-known Scottish lager that tastes like urine.

An inebriated Lennon posted the pics, along with a video of himself singing โ€˜9 in a rowโ€™, to his Instagram story before falling asleep in the woods.

Lennon was discovered the next morning by a dog walker who found the former Leicester City star on the floor, surrounded by empty beer cans and using the SPL trophy as a pillow.

Recalling the moment he stumbled upon the ex-Northern Ireland international, dog walker Bob Woodhouse told us: โ€˜My beloved Alsatian, Sasha, had just stopped for a sh*te, when I saw something peculiar lying on the ground.

โ€˜Upon closer inspection, it appeared to be a ginger small man curled up in the foetal position.

โ€˜When Sasha licked his face, the wee man leapt to his feet. I couldnae believe it was Neil Lennon.โ€™

Find a full range of football odds over on paddypower.comโ€˜Thatโ€™s when Sasha accidentally bit himโ€™, claimed the Rangers season ticket holder.

After a quick search of the forest for his front door key and phone, Lennon ordered a taxi home.

Recalling his journey with the Celtic boss, cab driver Travis McBickle said: โ€˜He got in the car and asked me if I was busy, what time I was on to, the usual sh*te. Then he spent the rest of the ride home sighing and deleting his Instagram storyโ€™.

A hungover Lennon later Tweeted: โ€˜Thatโ€™s me off itโ€™.

DONโ€™T MISS:

Find a full range of football odds over on paddypower.com

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