
The Earth is 4.543 billion years old, but somehow we managed to exist at the same time as David Attenborough.

Paddy PowerVerified account @paddypower 36 minutes ago
Man City v Arsenal up next. It’s unreal the amount of dickheads who show up to these games wearing shite half-and-half shirts.

West Ham’s owners will send a package to David Moyes tonight. Inside will be a beautiful, gold dildo with the words ‘Save Us’ written on it.

Paddy PowerVerified account @paddypower
Will May mend her ways and save the day by essaying a sashay and praying Brexit away?

Paddy PowerVerified account @paddypower 44 minutes ago
Gareth Barry to become the player with most ever Premier League appearances. But does that match any of these fine moments?