
Paddy Power
@paddypower
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When you wake up hungover and gasping for water:



England reached a World Cup semi-final. Big f*cking deal. Come back to us when you’ve got a ladies hockey World Cup f*cking final.

“Don’t like it at all. The Oompa Loompas, singing and dancing. They’re supposed to be working in that factory. Maybe if they were focused on doing their job that poor boy wouldn’t have fallen in the chocolate river.”

“Don’t like it at all. The Oompa Loompas, singing and dancing. They’re supposed to be working in that factory. Maybe if they were focused on doing their job that poor boy wouldn’t have fallen in the chocolate river.”


🎙 Messi: “I told the club I wanted to leave, then I saw the number of ‘can Messi do it on a cold night in Stoke?’ tweets and thought, nah, I’ll stay.
“Plus, now I get a 65m loyalty bonus. So f*ck it. I’ll get to the Arndale Centre Greggs next year.”


